Do I have to tell people I dated before I knew?

› Forums › General questions › Do I have to tell people I dated before I knew?

  • Post
    • July 30, 2026 at 9:08 pm
    riverbank9
    Participant

    I have been given a diagnosis and the clinic asked how far back my partners go. I have two people from the last few months. One of them ended badly and the idea of messaging them is making me feel sick.

    How did you do it? Did you tell them yourself or did you let the clinic do it?

Viewing 2 replies - 1 through 2 (of 2 total)
Member experience, not medical advice. Symptoms overlap between infections and only a test can tell them apart.
  • Replies
    • July 31, 2026 at 6:08 pm
    almostfine
    Participant

    Ask the clinic about anonymous partner notification. Mine offered to contact people for me without naming me, and that is what I did for the one I couldn’t face. It’s a standard service, not a special favour, and the person on the other end gets told to come in for a test without being told who sent them.

    For the other one I sent a short factual message. No apology spiral, no detail, just what I’d tested positive for and that they should get checked. Short was much easier than I expected.

    • August 2, 2026 at 5:08 pm
    quietkettle
    Participant

    What helped me was remembering the message isn’t about the relationship, it’s about someone getting a test they wouldn’t otherwise get. You are doing them a favour, even if it doesn’t land that way in the moment.

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